Working together 2 make a difference
Educators working collaboratively
Life
When the pillars of my life began to fall,
I did not stay to watch them,
I merely turned,
and walked away.
I don't know where
This path will lead me,
But,
This is the path I've chosen.
Everyone around me
Is swept up in a mighty current,
I simply,
Swim against it.
All the people pass me by.
They look to me for help.
I endeavor to do so,
but I must help myself first.
I would save the ones i care about
With these hands,
If I had the power to do so.
For now i must keep moving foward,
and look for the daylight.
Most men only play their part in life,
some not knowing they play a part at all,
but,
I will play my part no more.
Plz tell me what you think of this, i would like some feedback
I did not stay to watch them,
I merely turned,
and walked away.
I don't know where
This path will lead me,
But,
This is the path I've chosen.
Everyone around me
Is swept up in a mighty current,
I simply,
Swim against it.
All the people pass me by.
They look to me for help.
I endeavor to do so,
but I must help myself first.
I would save the ones i care about
With these hands,
If I had the power to do so.
For now i must keep moving foward,
and look for the daylight.
Most men only play their part in life,
some not knowing they play a part at all,
but,
I will play my part no more.
Plz tell me what you think of this, i would like some feedback
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Amber on -
This is good! I like the message, about turning away from the things that don't work and finding a better way to go, regardless of whether or not that's going against the flow. Well done! The lightness of the lines is good and the metaphors made without complicated words. :)
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Permalink Reply by Kevin Rosier on -
omg, thank u so much
Amber said:This is good! I like the message, about turning away from the things that don't work and finding a better way to go, regardless of whether or not that's going against the flow. Well done! The lightness of the lines is good and the metaphors made without complicated words. :)
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Permalink Reply by Erin B. Tryka on -
I enjoyed reading your poem, Kevin. One comment from your former ELA teacher: Capitalize your "I". Unless you are going for an e.e. cummings thing; in which case all of your "I"s should be uniformly lowercased!!!! ;o) Great work! I love reading the writing of former students. This is so fun for me!
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